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Reflecting on Yoga Teacher Training

Updated: Aug 31, 2022

I want to introduce this post with first saying, the whole reason you are even reading these words is because of Yoga Teacher Training. This course has been very illuminating and helped light the fire under my ass to finally launch this platform. I wrote this reflection as my midterm paper for YTT, and I decided I wanted to share it here as well. I preach vulnerability, and this course/ being a yoga teacher is making me practice what I preach in a way I wasn’t expecting to happen, but here we are. I know that I want to show up in this role as authentically as I can, and to do that I have to be vulnerable to the idea of being seen as I am. Which is scary as shit! But as one of my favorite Joey Pecorraro's song samples, "people will think whatever they want to think, regardless of what you do."

Enjoy-



YTT Mid Reflection

I signed up for this course in true transparency not knowing what to expect. I figured it would consist of learning the postures, the histories of yoga, and the logistics of actually teaching a class. When I started, I viewed this course as just that - a course. My lens was through that of a traditional college student- but with yoga pants! I am realizing now that I never actually paused to think what might go into ‘teaching yoga’ other than guiding others through their practice. My thought process around ‘teaching yoga’ was pretty superficial, or shallow. I understood that there was something special to yoga, but I guess I didn’t really know what it was. I just knew that yoga evoked an emotion in me, helped stoke a fire within that reminded me I was the pilot to my life. Or rather, yoga helped remind me that life is an experience to be experienced, and the key is being present. For in the present you can realize your power- your awareness of emotional reactions and thoughts throughout the day. Thus, granting you a magical key to life. I fell in love quickly, and I knew that I wanted to help share this with others. This course has completely changed every way I view and define yoga. Friends and family often ask me how YTT is going, to which I reply, “I feel like I am in University for my soul”.


Prior to this course, I had never even heard of the 8 Limbs of Yoga, or Raja yoga. I particularly have enjoyed learning and since practicing the Yamas and Niyamas. One of my top 5 core values is integrity and I resonate with the Niyamas and Yamas as a daily reminder on how to approach this life with integrity. So in a way, they have helped serve as a guide, or roadmap in navigating my everyday life. I am currently trying to focus on tapas, as I have been very much lacking in self discipline. Overtime, I have developed an all or nothing personality. If I can’t do EVERYTHING, PERFECTLY, and IMMEDIATELY, I feel defeated and don’t start or complete what I need to. This shows up a lot in my self discipline habits. I find I need someone of authority to hold me accountable, as I very much currently struggle to do that for myself.


I believe the practice of asana helps show us grace. Grace, n: simple elegance, or refinement of movement; v: do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one’s own presence. Yoga (in the sense of asana) is a daily practice and every day looks different than the one before. Which is where grace comes in, the practice of yoga is a continuous refinement of movement- is it not? With this in mind, I have been trying to apply more grace through my day to day, where can I soften? The concept of Tapas now echos throughout my daily life practices. Tapas and grace are helping me to soften the perfectionistic standards I hold myself to, and instead invite in softness and grace that helps give me the permission to approach life as a student. I am finding with this approach, within me more space has been made mentally, emotionally, and physically that has made it easier to invite tapas in more and more each day.


I think one of the biggest ways that this course has changed me, is in forcing me to get out of my comfort zone. I didn’t realize how emotional this experience would be and just how much it would bring up for me. It is really highlighting areas of my life that I absolutely HAVE to work on if I want to reach my dreams in this life. I am a Taurus, so I’m stubborn. I am also a Capricorn moon and rising, so I want to be perfect- to a fault. In the flight, fight, freeze, or fawn responses, I tend to show up as a freeze response. SO- I have learned through this course so far, that if I don’t trust I can show up as perfect, I freeze. This is currently showing up in teaching outside of class. The good news is that I am aware of this, so I am working to change, but like most things in life, it takes a little time to rewire the brain and some grace.


I preach vulnerability, and this course/ being a yoga teacher is making me practice what I preach in a way I wasn’t expecting to happen, but here we are. I know that I want to show up in this role as authentically as I can, and to do that I have to be vulnerable to the idea of being seen as I am. Which is scary as shit!


In summary, this course is highlighting areas within myself that need some attention and healing. I still haven’t fully decided what I want to do with this certificate, but I believe I knew on a subconscious level my soul needed this course. I needed this course to level up in life. My dharma is to give back to the communities and world. My dharma is to heal. My dharma is to teach. I understand now that yoga is the bridge to my dharma, and this course has highlighted where the work needs to be done.




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